Re: Steady Forward

More free time has me leaving skeptical of how to use it. I've spent the last year focusing so hard on job-work and not self-work that the transition confuses me. More or less, the same scenery is welcome and expected.

I've reaffirmed my current projects, all under the heading of "nesting." They move out of focus as my attention wanes and I find interest in the next sketch. I reinvented the basket reed-and-crochet project, seeing it with wire and in a similar size as the small acetate sculptures (my next big interest). I picked up one of the drawings I made last July when we first moved west, cutting into the image. The most liberating. I am finally hungry to do more in studio, lending it more time and energy.

Similarly, I have also revisited the Beyoncé + visual album topic and how it relates to the cinematic realism ideology. I am beginning a new blog post on NDF for the first time since the end of 2015, and it feels right. I can see myself taking real and concrete steps toward furthering my studio work since graduation, not just wishing a schedule into place. I am setting up old habits that have waited so long to be in use again.

Spiritual High

Went to see Noah. It is not word for word the story in the Bible and I had no expectations. I disagree with some decisions regarding taste, but I know it is only because I am a creator.

I know the water will charge me for the weeks to come; flood stories are always perfect for the spring. This flood story will be misinterpreted by many and misunderstood by few, but I know it will influence a large number of people. Good or bad impressions do not matter because I believe it will change taste.

I believe it brings us closer to Cinematic Realism as a complete, whole style and not fractured glimpses.

JT Visualizer

Spending sketches on "Legendary Lovers," "Lacrimosa," "Jolene," and "Losing My Way."

They will all be modular projects to build a larger structure. It is a simple first step to see Cinematic Realism--pieces reorganized is an easy way to handle focus of depth. Though, instead of reorganizing lines, I will be reorganizing shape.

I circled through Justified all yesterday and will cycle to Futuresex/Lovesounds. 

Justin Timberlake may not be opera, nor may he be NPR, but he is important in contemporary culture and I believe him to be absolute truth.

Walking on Air

Inventory Friday:

- Updated images of the Ideology research wall; anticipating a 16:9 Modern quilt sketch soon
- Experienced the easiest exhibition application ever
- Self-consciously realized the Midwestern persona, and I am doomed

Progress has exponentially taken off since a meeting on Tuesday with a mentor. Between reviewing notes for midterms and constructing the ideology, alongside full-time student, I have been pushing 15 hour work days. This evening will loosen the knots in my back.

I keep wavering between arrogance and humility, slowly tapering down to a single, centered human being. It is strange to love something nobody else wants to see.

Found Variables

Hard at work deconstructing and rearranging the a-heroic journey; blazing through The Hunger Games and Philosophy criticism, finishing Anthem in one breath and still trudging through blinding snow.

I find it easy to wake up every morning and work impulsively, without repercussion of failing a greater theory. It is freedom to work for work's sake.

VIP

Constant movement to flush out gravity; "Partition" is a new anthem. An organized painting found me nights ago, so I sit on asleep nerves and arrange pieces from magazine pages. I've only eaten sausage and potatoes and rice. I desperately long to cope.

Moving west like a treatment, but we know it's only because I want control .

Coffee Muse

I'm documenting dreams and filling out a social schedule. I'm lusting after a Filofax planner and Beyonce's new album. Research is slow because Breaking Bad replaces all motives. A betta fish moved in with me; he's yet to discover I feed him at the same time daily. 

I want to rent a wall space permanent, a whole semester unobstructed mapping. It requires a 16:9 lateral movement of butcher paper beneath loose quoted ideas. The wall in the center of studio will do. I will sign the lease on January 27th.

Past few days I've tested my frustration and each conversation resolves the same; "keep doing." Funny how one has blessed guidance but no fine print about reassurance,

Self-doubt is a blasted think.

Winter Break Imposition

Using Christmas cards to detox from the semester, self-imposed deadline instead of appeasing dialogue. 

Track for continuation of detox and output of work include: at least one drawing/organized collage due every Saturday, an explanation of how to thread a loom, reading The Economist every week (as a coffee muse), catching up on lost reading, start and finish Breaking Bad, "researching" the radio/Beyonce's new album. All this is held accountable by others; it is easier to construct when people are relying on you.