Summer 2016

Re: Steady Forward

More free time has me leaving skeptical of how to use it. I've spent the last year focusing so hard on job-work and not self-work that the transition confuses me. More or less, the same scenery is welcome and expected.

I've reaffirmed my current projects, all under the heading of "nesting." They move out of focus as my attention wanes and I find interest in the next sketch. I reinvented the basket reed-and-crochet project, seeing it with wire and in a similar size as the small acetate sculptures (my next big interest). I picked up one of the drawings I made last July when we first moved west, cutting into the image. The most liberating. I am finally hungry to do more in studio, lending it more time and energy.

Similarly, I have also revisited the Beyoncé + visual album topic and how it relates to the cinematic realism ideology. I am beginning a new blog post on NDF for the first time since the end of 2015, and it feels right. I can see myself taking real and concrete steps toward furthering my studio work since graduation, not just wishing a schedule into place. I am setting up old habits that have waited so long to be in use again.

Progress I Guess

My practice emerges every week, the table listening to what projects I prefer to work on. I have rearranged my materials many times in the last month, still unsatisfied with where everything goes. I am meticulously combing through everything we live with, weighing it against "need" or "want." I have noticed an additive quality to the work I make. I suppose the subtractive need to eliminate clutter balances such an act.

Is it the subtle season change into Gray May? I remember now that I purposely brought nothing of significance related to my schooling. My obsession for truth and genuine statements have begun to cripple me, causing anxiety and self-doubt to look at the work I make. Lashing out at any form of silence or pause. As though my conscious fights this break in jaw-clenching work, while the rest of my mind begs for peace. Like I am waiting for another tide to take me.

I dream of school, I dream of saving money, I dream of room and time to dance around my ideologies again.

Sunday Blues

I am without a computer as of late, which makes writing a page every morning that much easier. Keeping a web presence, however...

Change and other strange things have moved me further from graduation and closer toward my career. Many have told me how impressed they are with my current job, straight out of undergrad. I tell them this is what I've dreamt for years past.

We are living with a black, fluffy cat who mistakes closed windows for open ones. She loves wiggly strings. I have been graced with time to sit in silence, to draw an hour a day, to purchase new materials for projects to come. I have stopped steamrolling my exhibition curriculum, and instead let myself float from book to project, from repairing my clothes to wrestling basket reed into new forms.

Needless to say, I am ready for summer.